Narcissists, Sociopaths & Psychopaths: What’s the Difference?
Why?
The further up an organisational hierarchy you go the more likely you will encounter Narcissists, Sociopaths or Psychopaths. They could be your line manager, a peer, a subordinate or a key stakeholder in any other team or department, a board member or investor. You may even have one or more in your social or familial circles. Regardless of where they sit in your life you will benefit from learning how to spot and manage them as you will likely have to deal with their manipulative and coercive behaviour from time to time, especially if they score high in associated traits. That said, you might find it surprising to know we can also learn a lot from them to improve our lives.
What?
To better understand Narcissists, Sociopaths & Psychopaths we will cover how each are created, why they are more the same than not in day to day life even though their origins are different, and how to spot when one is attempting to undermine your endeavours. We will also dispel some media driven myths by demonstrating how they can land on the side of the angels just as easily as the side of the demons.
How?
We will deconstruct real-life examples, some famous, with the help of academic behavioural models to answer 3 key questions:
What are their similarities and differences? Revealing the correlation between origin and manifestation.
What are their typical traits and behaviours? Revealing the correlation between temperament and success / failure.
What are their adversarial proclivities? Revealing a predictable pattern of vengeful behaviour when slighted.
You can enjoy the rest of this case study in two ways:
Watch Video: Jump to timestamp 01:33 to skip the introduction.
Read Transcript: Jump to the chapter on Similarities & Differences.
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00:00 Why: should I watch this?
00:40 What: video covers?
01:03 How: we approach topic?
01:33 Similarities & Differences
01:34 Narcissist vs Sociopath vs Psychopath
01:58 Commonalities
02:42 Non-Psychopathic Narcissism
03:30 Brain Structures
04:08 Emotional Regulation vs Dysregulation
05:35 Traits & Behaviours
05:36 Psychopathy Spectrum
06:05 Conflict Averse vs Conflict Inclined Personalities
06:30 Positive Traits
07:14 Leadership Exemplars
07:39 Christian Craighead | SAS
08:11 Kyle Morgan | Delta Force / CAG
08:42 Elite & Special Operations Selection Processes
09:28 Psychopathic Diagnosis | Ted Bundy
10:11 Negative Traits
10:40 Adversarial Proclivities
10:41 Navy SEALs Leadership Selection
11:05 Archetypes
11:42 Bully Behaviour
12:55 Example of Narcissism
12:35 Narcissistic Gaslighting
14:28 Oppenhiemer vs Strauss
15:13 Conclusion
15:14 So What: Learned?
15:16 Neither wholly good or wholly bad
15:30 Context matters
15:43 Tireless effort
15:52 Now What: Implications?
15:53 Sensationalistic clickbait
16:29 Those on the side of the angels
17:23 What to do if targeted
18:08 What Next: Actions?
18:10 Dial traits up or down?
18:43 Temperament vs Occupation?
18:56 Professional, social and familial circles?
19:51 Case Study Review
Similarities & Differences
This is a model I created to demonstrate the correlation between characteristics in respect to each personality. I want to emphasise this is far from a detailed analysis and should be viewed solely as a beginners guide. In the context of this case study it offers a simple explanation as to why the terms Narcissist, Sociopath & Psychopath are often used interchangeably.
Source: Narcissist vs Sociopath vs Psychopath Venn Diagram - Kenny Wallace 2022
Their main commonality is narcissism, i.e. concern only for self. To quote Dr Ramani Durvasula, Clinical Psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University: “All sociopaths and psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths or psychopaths”. Their reduced capacity or absence of empathy manifests as indifference to the needs of others. It's not so much they don't care, as much as they can't care. Their main differences are found in fear, remorse and conscience. Narcissists can experience these. Sociopaths, if they experience them, can suppress them. Psychopaths don’t experience them.
Non-psychopathic narcissism manifests as a result of a child being either Undervalued, defined as: A continually marginalised high performer that knows it, or Overvalued, defined as: A continually over-praised poor performer that knows it, hence both are a product of low self-esteem, defined as: Thoughts of contempt for self accompanied by feelings of worthlessness. Sociopathy is an extension of being undervalued as it comes with the additional hardships of psychological abuse and/or physical violence, hence a product of brutality. Psychopaths are born hence a product of Biology, however as with narcissism and sociopathy they still require environmental triggers to determine where they land between the angels and demons.
In all three cases the structure and/or function of the brain has been altered as a result of genetics, brain injury and/or environmental factors, in particular the Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex. This is the part of the brain responsible for processing empathy, compassion, guilt, morality and self-control. This also includes risk assessment and fear response as it regulates the Amygdala. In the context of these personalities these alterations result in a reduction or even elimination of the capacity to experience and regulate these emotions and executive functions.
This insight allows us to begin joining the dots between each personality and their level of emotional regulation vs dysregulation, which indicates the terms regulation and dysregulation could be considered bookends on a continuum of some kind. If so, how do we assess and measure regulation vs dysregulation?
Traits & Behaviours
I created the model below based on the research of Dr Kevin Dutton, Professor of Psychology at the University of Oxford, who’s been studying Psychopathy for over 40 years. He demonstrated that Psychopathy is measured using a spectrum of traits, and the more traits you have the higher you score. This echo’s the work of Dr Robert Hare, a Criminal Psychologist and Professor at The University of British Columbia, who invented the original diagnostic tool: The Psychopath Checklist.
At one end we have conflict averse personalities who tend to be care workers, nurses, therapists, craftspeople, teachers, charity workers, etc, typically considered the more selfless in society. At the other end we have conflict inclined personalities, such as antagonistic violent offenders literally incapable of functioning in society without harm to self or others.
In the middle there is a sweet spot where a balance of traits, social integration and professional success can be found. A collection of particular traits that combine to generate high performance, some examples are: Disregard for social norms, low boredom threshold, thrill seeking, no sense of consequence, mental toughness, resilience, calm under pressure, astute at reading others, persuasive, live in the moment, positive outlook, the list goes on. With the presence of such traits it should become apparent as to why people with these traits end up in Leadership roles, they have just the right number and combination of traits to be great leaders, especially when immersed in worst case scenarios.
Two specific examples that spring to mind are Christian Craighead MBE, the British SAS operator that single-handedly stormed the DusitD2 hotel in Nairobi, Kenya on 15th January 2019, and Kyle Morgan, the American Delta Force Operator that single-handedly stormed the Radisson Blu Hotel in Bamako, Mali on 20th November 2015.
Christians involvement followed a terrorist attack by Al-Shababb, a Sunni Islamic extremist group. Christian, who was in the area purely by chance, set off on his own with no intel and minimal equipment, repeatedly entering and exiting the complex to eliminate threats, escort civilians to safety and coordinate local security services. By the end of the 18.5hr incident 5 terrorists were dead and 700 civilians had been rescued, for which Christian was awarded the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross.
Kyle's involvement followed an attack by Al-Mourabitoun, an African Jihadist group. Kyle, who was also close by, set off on his own with minimal equipment, but with intel in the form of an ongoing telephone conversation with Americans trapped inside the hotel, whom he'd set out to rescue, eventually coordinating his efforts with local security services. By the end of the incident both terrorists were dead and 150 hostages had been rescued, for which Kyle was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross.
While Christian and Kyle might be considered extreme examples to illustrate my point, their acts of valour are far from isolated. In fact, the military as whole tends to attract people with many of the traits highlighted. Within the military there are numerous voluntary selection processes unwittingly designed to seek out and capture those with specific combinations of psychopathic traits, each required to fulfil a specific units operational role. Commonly known examples from the UK are: Royal Marines, Parachute Regiment, Pathfinders, SBS & SAS. Commonly known examples from their American cousins are: USMC, Rangers, Special Forces, Navy Seals, DevGru & Delta.
By now you are likely starting to put people you know in boxes, though do keep in mind this case study is not a diagnostic tool. To discover a friend, family member or colleague exhibits one or two narcissistic / sociopathic / psychopathic traits does not make them one of these personalities. We all, throughout our lives, exhibit one or more of these traits as part of the natural development of temperament, so no-one scores zero. To be diagnosed Psychopathic on the 20 item checklist you need to score a minimum of 30/40 in the US or 25/40 in the UK, and it’s the outliers on this spectrum that become infamous, for example Ted Bundy scored 34/40.
Now that we’ve covered some of the pros, let’s investigate some of the cons: I’m referring to traits such as; Antagonism, deceit, manipulation, pathological lying, criminality, glibness, parasitic behaviour, failure to accept responsibility, this list also goes on. With all this in mind, What will you experience with someone further up the psychopathy spectrum, especially if you are considered an adversary?
Adversarial Proclivities
The model below is based on a decision matrix the US Navy SEALs use for leadership selection, which focuses on the relationship between Performance, defined as: A demonstration of technical skills, and Trust, defined as: A demonstration of values and principles. I have updated this model by adding 4 archetypes to offer a sense of who might manifest in each area:
These four archetypes correlate with specific behaviours that can be measured in any individual, team or organisation.
Bully: Results orientated, easily throws others under the bus in order to achieve their end in mind.
Micromanager: Slows everyone down through relentless interference in everything everyone does.
Puppet: Yes person, avoids challenge, making decisions and struggles to get anything meaningful done.
Liberator: Creates aspiration, defines end in mind, encourages autonomy, resolves conflict, takes hits for the team.
Given that manipulative, coercive and antagonistic behaviour is likely to present, especially further up the spectrum, if you are perceived as an adversary it’s most likely they will tip in to bully by setting you up to fail, either overtly or covertly. Lets define what each type might consider an adversary:
Narcissist: Publicly drawing attention to their failures, undermining their sense of greatness.
Sociopath: Perceived to be backed in to a corner and consider you a threat to their survival.
Psychopath: You are an object standing between them and their overarching objective.
A narcissist will most likely attempt to pin their failures on a scapegoat to avoid shame. The sociopath will most likely be threateningly assertive to make an example of you in front of others. The psychopath will most likely, metaphorically speaking, set you up with the rope to hang yourself as they just want you out the way.
I’ve deliberately used sweeping statements in my descriptions to keep things simple, however do keep in mind the degree to which they assert themselves will correlate with the specific combination and severity of traits they individually posses.
Let me give you an example of narcissism as this can apply to all three:
If you publicly challenge a narcissist on mistakes they’ve made or deadlines they’ve failed to meet, say in a meeting. Even though you may have the best of intentions in terms of accountability and finding common ground, it’s likely they will perceive this as a personal attack. Public perception is highly prized by a narcissist and your actions are undermining their carefully crafted reputation by swaying public opinion. This manifests as shame, the narcissists Kryptonite, as public perception is now incongruent with how they want others perceive them, which taps directly into their core of deep seated low self-esteem.
The most likely course of action a narcissist will take is to slowly convince you that your colleagues and peers are talking negatively about you behind your back. These claims will be false with the sole intention of eroding your self-confidence and trust in those around you. The narcissist will then claim to be watching your back, encouraging you to build trust and reliance in them. A classic divide and conquer strategy. Not only does it distract you from their failures, they get to restore their reputation by being perceived as the hero while keeping you on the back foot. I’ve witnessed a CEO do this with their entire board and put the company at genuine and significant financial risk in the process. The narcissistic need for reputation management far outweighed the need to ensure the business was financially stable.
A famous example of this type of behaviour is the relationship between J. Robert Oppenhiemer and Lewis Strauss, which played out in the film Oppenhiemer through Cillian Murphy and Robert Downey Jr. Oppenhiemer made an innocuous quip about Strauss during a public hearing held by the General Advisory Committee for Atomic Energy in 1949. As a result Strauss covertly plotted the downfall of Oppenhiemer by ensuring the request to renew Oppenhiemer's National Security Council security clearance was denied by the Atomic Energy Commission in 1954. This eliminated Oppenhiemer’s access to his life’s work up to that point and almost ended his career. Strauss committed this Machiavellian act while publicly masquerading as Oppenhiemer's greatest advocate for the intervening 5 years.
Conclusion
So what?
Narcissism, Sociopathy and Psychopathy are not the same, are far from black and white, are neither wholly good or wholly bad and all require some form of external trigger to determine where someone will land between the angels and demons.
Narcissism, Sociopathy and Psychopathy exist on a spectrum, which we are all on as no-one scores zero, with good or bad defined by the number and combination of traits present, and the context in which they are applied.
Someone that scores high in narcissistic traits that considers you an adversary can work tirelessly to undermine your efforts without you ever being aware they are doing so.
Now what?
Much of what is said or written about narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy is sensationalistic clickbait. Only the outliers on the spectrum become infamous, the rest go about their daily business as we all do. A famous example of this is Dr James Fallon, Neuroscientist and Professor of Psychiatry and Neurobiology at the University of California, who was a control group participant in a blind study on Alzheimer's through which he discovered, purely by chance, he had all the neurological and genetic hallmarks of a Psychopath, yet lived a relatively normal life with a high degree of success in his chosen career.
As the media tends to sensationally focus on the small number at the violent end of the spectrum, lets cover some examples of those on the side of the angels within the broader spectrum: Firefighters that run in to burning buildings, police officers that protect us from harm on our streets, soldiers on the battle field protecting our way of life, surgeons that perform life saving operations, investigative journalists that work to uncover corruption and fraud and lawyers that work tirelessly to ensure justice is served. These jobs actually require those in them to possess many of the traits listed earlier in order to develop the temperament needed to carry out the duties associated with their roles. To quote Dr Kevin Dutton: “I’ve interviewed a lot of special forces troops, especially the British Special Air Service. That’s a very good example of people who score pretty high on psychopathic traits who are actually in their perfect occupation”.
After reading this case study it's entirely possible you have become aware you might be the subject of a narcissistic campaign at work. If so, then record and diarise every interaction; times, dates, calls, Zoom, Teams, WhatsApp, text messages, emails, in person interactions and note any witnesses. Do this for every incident. Be sure to keep it all fact based, including the context and outcomes of each encounter. You may need the evidence depending on how much they escalate. Covertly campaigning to have you fired or wear you down to resign is a very real possibility. I’ve witnessed this, having supported several senior leaders and freelancers to successfully navigate this psychological minefield.
What next?
Now that you have a better understanding of the similarities and differences between narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, their traits and that a good or bad combination is context dependant, and in many cases essential to be successful in a chosen endeavour, lets consider how you might use what you have learned:
Are there particular traits you have identified that, if you dialled up or down, have potential to help you be a better version of yourself for your family, friends and/or colleagues? If so, which traits in which contexts?
Given the correlation between professions, traits and success; has this highlighted a mismatch between your temperament and occupation? If so, which occupations do you think you would be better suited to and how might you test that?
Has someone sprung to mind in your family, social or professional circles you now need to change how you interact with or even remove from one of these circles? If so, what is your first step to change things for the better?
Take your learning one step further and complete my Case Study Review. Capture your learning from this case study and commit to changes you deem relevant for your situation. A copy of your completed review will be emailed to you instantly.
For further insight on dealing with a direct report, peer, or line manager at work exhibiting severe narcissistic traits then do read: How To Manage A Narcissist At Work.
If you are in the process of dealing with a personality similar to the one in this case study, then you do consider working with me to either assess your Individual Readiness to manage this type of personality or address issues that have come to your attention as result of this case study.
